"I testify that the outcome of this battle that began in the premortal life is not in question. Lucifer will lose." Boyd K. Packer October 2011.
I am sure that most of my readers are aware of my faith but to dispel any "doubts" and make it perfectly clear- I am a Mormon. Actually the term is Latter Day Saint BUT people like their pet names or nicknames, I guess. Anyway, last month was a very trying month for me. Honestly the past five years or so have been wickedly rough. With one trial after the other. Like stacked dominoes falling to their doom. But through all of these trying times, I've been going to church very regularly, praying very often, and building my faith and testimony once again. Some things have been easy to get back into the swing of doing again. There are still things I am working on. I've been working very closely with the youth in my little ward and it is a tremendous privilege to watch these young girls blossom in their faith and testimonies of the gospel. And although I've felt happier since starting to go back to church, every now and then the adversary would have me believe that the efforts I am making now still aren't good enough for the grace of my Savior. Every unwise decision I've made in my early adulthood is coming back to bite me in the butt. And as I face some of the consequences, it's very easy to feel inadequate and feel....well dumb.
But I've been going to a class called Institute which is a Bible Study type class. And this year we've been studying the words of latter-day prophets. Well the quote above comes from one of the church leaders given at a conference that is held semi-annually. The phrase seems simple enough but the evening I heard this read, it was like my mind bloomed. If you're interested in reading the whole talk, it is here. But this one part made me straighten my back and my ears perked up like a dog hearing a call in the distance. Did you hear that? LUCIFER WILL LOSE. This past month I have been struggling with thoughts like I'm a loser. How can I keep going in all this hopelessness? How can I keep living this way? For what reason? I have to confess that there have been nights that I've just been crying incessantly, wondering what good will come of my poor existence. I haven't felt like I've made a difference. Bluntly put, I've been a little...or maybe a lot depressed. But hearing this talk, I think I had a life changing moment. Epiphany. Lucifer will lose. I must be stronger. I must exercise more faith in my Heavenly Father. He made everything. I do not have a need to fear anything or anyone in this world. Because God can take and give life, yet He offers LIFE to every living thing through Christ, our Savior. I have to get rid of these kind of thoughts and really know for myself that God isn't going to abandon me like Satan would have me believe. Easier said than done, yes but oh the fact that it is most assuredly possible!! Every trial and hardship I am experiencing I truly believe it is for a reason.
"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God." Orson F. Whitney
I feel blessed to be a member of this church. I was once unsure and perhaps a little ashamed of being such; today, though, I have never felt more strongly about this church. I have found my truth in life. I have gained my testimony of Christ and God's love for me and I will not give it up. Or be afraid to open my mouth in the face of the adversary. It is time to get my foot out of both doors and finally walk through the doors to the winning side. Because, my friends, Lucifer will lose. And I want to be on the winning side. To spend the eternities in happiness with all of my loved ones.
I am sure that most of my readers are aware of my faith but to dispel any "doubts" and make it perfectly clear- I am a Mormon. Actually the term is Latter Day Saint BUT people like their pet names or nicknames, I guess. Anyway, last month was a very trying month for me. Honestly the past five years or so have been wickedly rough. With one trial after the other. Like stacked dominoes falling to their doom. But through all of these trying times, I've been going to church very regularly, praying very often, and building my faith and testimony once again. Some things have been easy to get back into the swing of doing again. There are still things I am working on. I've been working very closely with the youth in my little ward and it is a tremendous privilege to watch these young girls blossom in their faith and testimonies of the gospel. And although I've felt happier since starting to go back to church, every now and then the adversary would have me believe that the efforts I am making now still aren't good enough for the grace of my Savior. Every unwise decision I've made in my early adulthood is coming back to bite me in the butt. And as I face some of the consequences, it's very easy to feel inadequate and feel....well dumb.
But I've been going to a class called Institute which is a Bible Study type class. And this year we've been studying the words of latter-day prophets. Well the quote above comes from one of the church leaders given at a conference that is held semi-annually. The phrase seems simple enough but the evening I heard this read, it was like my mind bloomed. If you're interested in reading the whole talk, it is here. But this one part made me straighten my back and my ears perked up like a dog hearing a call in the distance. Did you hear that? LUCIFER WILL LOSE. This past month I have been struggling with thoughts like I'm a loser. How can I keep going in all this hopelessness? How can I keep living this way? For what reason? I have to confess that there have been nights that I've just been crying incessantly, wondering what good will come of my poor existence. I haven't felt like I've made a difference. Bluntly put, I've been a little...or maybe a lot depressed. But hearing this talk, I think I had a life changing moment. Epiphany. Lucifer will lose. I must be stronger. I must exercise more faith in my Heavenly Father. He made everything. I do not have a need to fear anything or anyone in this world. Because God can take and give life, yet He offers LIFE to every living thing through Christ, our Savior. I have to get rid of these kind of thoughts and really know for myself that God isn't going to abandon me like Satan would have me believe. Easier said than done, yes but oh the fact that it is most assuredly possible!! Every trial and hardship I am experiencing I truly believe it is for a reason.
"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God." Orson F. Whitney
I feel blessed to be a member of this church. I was once unsure and perhaps a little ashamed of being such; today, though, I have never felt more strongly about this church. I have found my truth in life. I have gained my testimony of Christ and God's love for me and I will not give it up. Or be afraid to open my mouth in the face of the adversary. It is time to get my foot out of both doors and finally walk through the doors to the winning side. Because, my friends, Lucifer will lose. And I want to be on the winning side. To spend the eternities in happiness with all of my loved ones.
No comments:
Post a Comment