It's incredible the power of weather and it's effects on your moods. Tonight we had a nice downpour. Moisture I'm sure all of San Antonio and surrounding areas have been praying for. It reminded me of a time in my life where fear ruled and I couldn't stand the lock down it had on my life anymore. A little less than a year ago, I purposely stood in a similar downpour of rain with the lightning flashing across the sky, and the thunder rolling ferociously across the horizon. I let myself get soaked as I stood in the middle of that storm, facing a fear I've had since I was a child. I embraced this kind of storm, needing to face it head on. I spread my arms and opened myself up and stood as my heart raced and I could feel the panic in the form of bile build up at the back of my throat. But the longer I stood, the stronger my will. It took me most of that night to finally get my heart and my thoughts to calm; but I did it.
Tonight, while the lightning still strikes a small chord of fear in me, I was able to drive through the rain without feeling that sudden urge to pull over and let the panic take over. In fact, with lil man squealing in the back seat, I actually had a little bit of fun and I was smiling! throughout the whole drive. And singing! That is such an achievement! Hahahaha...in yo face! Now...can I overcome my fear of elevators and traveling via airplane? We shall see... hmmmm.
And now...rainy weather music...curling up in bed with a good book, and hopefully, sleep will snatch me up in her clutches and send me off to dreamland where sweet dreams await.
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